I don't know how I got here. I can retrace my steps perfectly, but I can't imagine why at any point I didn't recognize where it was headed. I second guess where I could have sidestepped disaster or embraced a solution, but since it is in hindsight it does me no good. I suppose many Americans have made the same mistakes. I promise you I'm not a deadbeat. I have worked every day since I was old enough to work. A small town full of people who frequented the only seafood buffet in town will testify to that. I promise you I don't live beyond my means or struggle to keep up with the Jones' whoever they are. I have a decent 6 year old car that my father pays the monthly note on & bought new tires with money I saved up from a nice commission check. I promise you that I am only one generation away from no running water and my materialistic ways extend as far as the brand names I happen to scoop up at the local Goodwill. When I read rants about how people "like me" are in this situation because we live beyond our means my first emotion is anger. My second is indignant. And my third, well...my third is to tell my story.
Do I live in a home I cannot afford? No. But I could not afford rent in this area, and buying a house made sense. Could I afford it when we purchased it? I thought so. We had very little in savings and lived mostly month to month with a little left over, but we lived comfortably. But little did I know that something as simple as a changing interest rate could topple our lives and my idea of security and what a home represents. Forever.
Reading the fine print would have been a good place to start. When our mortgage broker called us & told us she had found a product that could help get us in the door to a new home, naturally I believed her. Banks don't make mistakes, do they? I vaguely remember her mentioning something about a refinance in a few years, but that we would cross that bridge when we got to it. She was a friend of mine and I had no reason to doubt her. The monthly cost seemed a little high. Red flag. The two loans seemed strange. Red flag. No requirement for down payment. Red flag. If I had not been working full-time and at the tail end of a nasty custody battle, perhaps those red flags would have looked more like warning signs and less like blessings. I had known this woman for five years and had recommended clients to her regularly. We went to church together and had dinner with her and her husband at least once a week. I had no reason to not believe she had our best interests at heart.
So we signed on the dotted line(s) in a one hour closing with an attorney & our real estate agent. I maybe should have known when the broker didn't come to the closing. She had her commission check & had most likely already sent in a deposit for her implants. Am I being harsh? Maybe. Did she drop me as a friend shortly after making a profit off of me? Yes. If I had put one & one together, then I may have been able to figure out that she had sold us a lemon. Who knows how many of these products she sold. If I met her in a bar today I would have her sign a bunch of napkins and then kick her ass.
It's hard to explain where things went horribly awry. I blame a series of events, but ultimately take responsibility for not communicating well enough with our mortgage company, not reading the fine print, and not taking action as quickly as I should have. If my relationship with my mortgage company was with a live person, then it would be the ultimate example of what not to do in an abusive relationship.
Here's a quick summary: I became ill and lost my job. Our mortgage company agreed to defer our payments for six months. When the payments became due, they claimed that I had not turned in the paperwork properly for the forbearance agreement, and the six months of non payment was currently in default. Unless we started to make double payments to catch up, our home would go into foreclosure. At the same time, our adjustable rate went up, bringing our regular monthly payment from $998 to $1380 a month. I still did not have a job. Catching up would be impossible. We agreed to a ridiculous payment term of a chunk of money down, & a higher mortgage for 3 months. We couldn't keep up, and they made another similar arrangement. It was still to high after the first 2 months of payment. After the third attempt at this cycle, we asked if there was any other way. They explained that if we simply let the house go into foreclosure, then we could force our mortgage company into negotiation.
In December 2008 I submitted our paperwork to loss mitigation. After pushing the sale date and a thorough review, we were denied. The negotiator I spoke with claimed that after looking over our paperwork our income did not demonstrate that we would have an ability to continue to make payments after they negotiated the defaulted amount to the end of our thirty year loan. They did not give me details on how they figured that out. They don't know I buy toilet paper in bulk and plan my meals weekly to save money. They have no idea that I haven't had a new pair of shoes in years. Apparently it's a numbers game, and I am a loser. After details on President Obama's Affordability & Stability Plan were released on March 4th, 2009 I resubmitted our paperwork when I read that we should qualify. Keeping up with the latest news on this issue has become a full time job for me. After submitting our paperwork and waiting, customer service has told me that we do not qualify for that plan, but could not tell me why. The loan is still in review with a negotiator, and the sale date has been pushed from May 11th to June 15, 2009.
I have no idea what criteria they are using to review the loan, or what we need to qualify to keep our home. To date I have not been contacted by anyone at the mortgage company and have had to call three times a week to get additional information. I feel like no matter how much I read, write, study, or learn on this matter I'm still not getting it. Tomorrow is another day to plan out my next step, even though I don't know what I'm stepping towards. My plan at this point is to be as vocal as I can about this issue and hope that I find a viable solution. If I can't solve this problem for myself, then maybe I can help others have the confidence to address the issues with their mortgage company before it's too late. I'm hoping it isn't for me. I am tired. I feel victimized. I feel ignorant and uninformed. But one thing I do not feel like is a "deadbeat".
